Keeping it rolling...
Published by Panda on Thursday, December 21, 2006 at 12:58 PM
Much like phonelesscord about two days ago, I've gotten bit with the urge to post about everything remotely interesting that comes my way. Unlike phonelesscord, I am incapable of writing reams of witty text in rapid-fire succession. Hence, links to videos about a dick in a box.
If you really want some text, here's some text. I read a fictional article about a crazy dictator in Kazakhstan that created a new name for himself that all of his people had to use, put statues of himself all over the country, and renamed the days of the week after himself and his family members. Well, it turns out that a) I've been watching too much Borat and not reading enough about Eastern Europe and b) that article was not fictional.
As was published in the Times, WSJ, and CNN today, that man was actually Saparmurat Niyazov, dictator of Turkmenistan. He ordered his country to refer to him as Turkmenbashi, or "Head/Father of all Turkmen," depending on which news source you check. His feats of craziness include:
* Putting his name on everything, including streets, buildings, the month of January, days of the week, a sea port, farms, military units and a meteorite
* Putting his face on all of the national currency
* Erecting statues of himself throughout the nation
* Authoring the "Rukhnama" (Book of the Soul), and making itrequired reading in schools.
* Children pledge allegiance to him every morning.
* Announcing that he would provide citizens with natural gas and power free of charge through 2030.
* Tapping the country's vast energy wealth for outlandish projects -- a huge, man-made lake in the Kara Kum desert, a vast cypress forest to change the desert climate, an ice palace outside the capital, a ski resort and a 130-foot pyramid.
* Banning video games, gold teeth, opera and ballet
* Encouraging his people to chew on bones — good, he said, for their teeth.
Oddly enough, most of these news articles seem to focus on regional instability caused by his death, the lack of a succession plan and threats to natural gas supplies.
