Why it's probably better that I have a girlfriend

It is currently five past midnight. Pudge left this morning for the CES conference in Vegas, although she apparently took a pit stop at the AVN's for good measure. For today, the sum of my productive accomplishments include the following:

* Stopping by the office for good measure and postage
* Mailing something
* Buying groceries for myself

Those groceries included the following: Vitamin water, beer, gummy bears, chicken nuggets, hot sauce, beer, an apple, and some bananas. This is what I am planning to live off of until Pudge comes back, which I believe to be on Wednesday.

The apartment looks like it has been savaged by an angry bear. There are at least three distinct piles forming in the living room; two of them clothing-based, one of them the remains of my grocery shopping. Other articles from the day - a book and sections of newspaper - are lying exposed on a table, next to a random pad of paper that I pulled out and doodled on. My shoes are not on the shoe rack in the closet. The bed has not been made.

I have been playing Guitar Hero III in nothing but my socks and boxers for over two hours. My eyes burn, as I have not looked at a non-electronic surface for more than 10 consecutive seconds in the last ten hours. My back is sore, possibly from the strange dances that I have begun to perform in accompaniment to the music that I have been 'playing.' My face and hands are coated with a fine layer of oil, which I seem to have been secreting for the day. There must also be oil in my hair, which now has spikes vaguely resembling the nimbus on the Statue of Liberty. I can't be sure, but I'm guessing that I smell. I am a glorious mess.

This will all come to an end soon, when Pudge comes back and order re-enters my life. But until then, my life is chaotic bliss.

1 comments:

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