Ryan Adams - When the Stars Go Blue

When she left me, the relationship had already been over for almost a year. She had gone off to business school, and soon after started dating someone else. The ending was, for better or worse, a formality. But formality or not, it was one of the most painful experiences of my life.

For the last several years, I think I have subconsciously harbored the thought that I could win her back from her Olympic medalist boyfriend. I thought that if I reworked myself into the man that she wanted - upgraded the clothes, got the job, made the right friends - then maybe the stars would align and things would all fall back into place. Regardless of how it ended, and all of the difficulties that we had, I loved her more than I think I have ever loved anything. And I still love her, and will probably continue to feel that way for the rest of my life. I just found out yesterday that she is now engaged. So, for better or for worse, it is time to put such thoughts away.

So, for the next several days, I will be putting my smoldering memories of her to rest. One of the after effects of our break-up has been the realization of just how deeply I have tied certain songs to my memories of her. This first song is what you would consider, "our song." Had we gotten married, it is undoubtedly what we would have played for the first dance. When this song plays, I remember the two of us dancing by ourselves in our shabby New York apartment. I remember us driving to Napa in California, and her singing in the passenger seat. But that's all in the past now.

Ryan Adams - When the Stars Go Blue

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