When I was a kid, we used to have storytime at the school library. It was awesome, it was more or less like watching TV, except the only picture you get is of an old, shrivel-some lady hunched over an excessively colorful book. If you closed your eyes, you could sometimes get her to look like Levar Burton.

There was one story that I'm remembering in particularly vivid detail at the moment. It was called Alex and the rotten, stinky, terrible, no good, completely awful day. Or something along those lines. And the story started off with Alex, or whatever his name was, waking up on the wrong side of the bed, with gum in his hair, his mom yelling at him, his homework undone, late for the bus, and all sorts of terrible things. The way the book went, he'd have probably dropped a fudge-covered twinkie in his sheets too if the book was written for adults.

The reason I'm remembering this book (which doesn't exist as far as Amazon is concerned) is because as far as mornings go, this one was pretty much shit. For all of you voyeurs out there, I'm going to give my apologies for not letting out any personal details. No, I did not crap my pants. Whatever it was that happened, it was stressful and made me unhappy.

In The curious incident of the dog in the night-time, or whatever that Mark Haddon book was called, the narrator needs to see how many red cars vs. yellow cars there are on the way to school in order to make a judgement about whether the rest of the day is going to be good or bad. I would have thought the character was an idiot, but he was autistic, so I guess the proper thing to do is cut him some slack. Still, having signs tell you that a day is going to be bad is really just a half step away from having tea leaves tell you that you should kill your parents for insurance money. Days aren't made bad because of random morning occurences. Days are made bad by bad things happening constantly throughout the day.

Hell, even if you have a bad morning, that should have very little bearing on the rest of your day. At least I hope, because my morning sucked and I want it to go away. Hurray for work.



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